Christian cliche, brace yourself... YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN!
Odds are, if you clicked on this post, you've heard this phrase countless times. Heck, you've probably used it several times yourself. Chances are also that you've heard it used in ways that, at the very least, made you a tad uncomfortable.
"Just Trust God"
So am I about to argue against trusting God? Nope. The statement above would be agreeable if it wasn't for the way we add that "just" onto the idea of trusting God, which reveals how we abuse the truthful and Biblical concept of trusting God. It implies that there is nothing else, only a trust for God. This is often used to imply no sadness, or no action.
First off, it seems that Christians who use this phrase often imply no fear or sadness. Sadness doesn't imply a lack of trust for God. People who trust God are still emotionally distressed. Otherwise, Jesus probably wouldn't have been trusting in God (himself?) at all when his "sweat became like great drops of blood" from his anguish (Luke 22:44). Even God himself grieves according to scripture (Genesis 6:6). While sadness can spring out of not trusting God, it can also be very present in those who trust him. Be sure not to judge people's walk with God by their poorness or richness in spirit, like the Pharisees judged people by their financial poorness or richness.
Another way Christians seem to use "just trust God" is to imply a lack of action. People are treated as if them acting means they trust their action more than God, and truly trusting him would be sitting back and watching him work. Yet, we have a Bible full of stories about people who trusted God, but they didn't just trust God; they also acted. Scripture's heroes were men and women of action. They pray (an action in itself), and the they seek the results they (and God) desire.
We are even inconsistent in our use of this idea (based on whatever is the popular way to use the concept). We'll treat some things as worthy of trust with action ("Trust God to help you find food/a job."), yet other things are unacceptable all together ("Don't be sad! Just trust God!" and "Stop seeking people to fill your emotional needs! You just need to trust God!"). Why can't we trust God and still seek the things we desire and even need? Are our actions and trust truly incompatible? I don't think so.
There are people who act in the place of God because they don't trust him, which is where these ideas have rooted from, but trust and action are not incompatible. So then, what does a believer look like when trusting God? I think the lesson boils down to this:
Trusting God doesn't mean he does all the work. Trusting God means he's the boss.
When we trust God, we still act. In fact, trusting him often leads to action. However, we act how he desires us to, not out of a fear that we won't achieve our desired results if we don't act. Sometimes, too, trusting him does mean being still (Psalms 46:10). Yet the fact that our Bible, which commands us to trust God, also gives commands for action and tells stories of the faithful acting, gives us good reason to accept that trusting God usually includes an action. If you still aren't convinced that trust isn't accompanied by action, check out the book of James, which talks about how faith is accompanied by works.
Be sure to second-guess your use of "just trust God" the next time you talk with someone who's sad or seeking to meet a need of theirs. The faithful hurt and the faithful act.
Also...
...There's one other way we use this phrase, and it's much worse. We sometimes use it as an excuse not to help people. We see others in need, and we have the resources, but instead we tell them to "just trust God." If God will provide, why should we? You can read a bit more about my opinions on helping those in need here.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Response - "23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23"
It's been a while since I wrote a blog post (which is probable the most cliché way to start this post, haha). I figured after seeing this article several times, having several discussions, and even having my opinion sway, I'd just write about this post, which covers some of my favorite subjects: people, relationships, and wisdom.
This article on 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before 23 was not only fascinating and challenging in itself, but also brought up a lot of my own ideas I have never quite put together before, so I figured this was a great two-in-one. My points are both responses to her ideas and building on my own (and friends' responses I quote).
Here's a link to the article by Vanessa Elizabeth:
23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23
Here's the best as I can summarize it: Men and women under 23 are getting married because it is hip, they want its pleasures, and they can't deal with life on their own. Instead, people should wait to get married and take time to develop their own identity by enjoying many pleasures and experiences of their lives so that they know themselves and don't miss out.
The Negative
Adventure: Her premise seems to be that once you are married, having adventures is impossible. You could argue that traveling is hindered somewhat, but it is still entirely possible. As my friend John put it, "I didn't realize that now that I am married I can't grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read or explore anymore! What a mistake!"
Identity: "I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life." That doesn't mean that no one else does. In fact, discovering yourself is very much enhanced by other people. Others often know us better than we know ourselves.
Age and maturity: While there is definitely validity in relating age/experience and wisdom/understanding, these things are not directly correlated. As my friend Amanda said, "Just because you're 10 years older doesn't mean you'll stick it out." If no one knows themselves enough to get married at 23, I doubt Elizabeth should even be writing marriage advice at that age.
Selfishness: My major problem with the article is the selfishness of it. Her 22nd point in the list blatantly says "Be selfish." The 11th says to "Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face." This is completely inconsiderate of the two other human beings who's lives would be torn apart by such an action. Even the consequences of such action are only described by the consequences of the person doing the cheating.
However: She has said multiple times on her Twitter and Facebook that the list was actually satirical. Still, after reviewing the article several times, she doesn't make this very clear.
Originally, I really liked the article. She makes some very good points I've said many times myself. I was only swayed to a more neutral position as people pointed out the selfishness that underlies the motives and reasoning.
The Positive
The Divorce Rate: "The divorce rate for young couples is more than twice the national average." This is a very serious statistic that needs to be considered. The article she links too has some very relevant stories. We should be deeply challenged by these stories and statistics, and ask ourselves why this is happening.
Want vs Need: There seems to be a cultural assumption that we need to get married. Most of the time I hear a person arguing for marriage, they are arguing against reasons not to, but most seem to act as if it is an obvious necessity. I think this hinders us greatly from asking us why we really should get married. Most of the reasons such as personal growth and emotional support can be done without marriage, so we really need to think about what makes marriage special or different (because I'd like to think it is more than just sex, personally).
Identity: While I agree with most people that you can definitely develop your identity in marriage, it is not unwise to have a strong understanding of who you are before getting married. Our identities play a role in our marriage to someone, and also have a part in who we choose to marry. While "we can learn who we are while married" isn't an untrue reasoning, that's a poor reason not to take the time to learn about yourself significantly before you get married.
Co-dependency: This is probably one of the biggest subjects for me. I've seen too many "safety blanket" relationships where people who don't know how to be single get married out of despair. Too many people "hide behind a significant other" and hope to fill holes that parents, compliments, and even God should have filled. Books like "The Family" by Balswick & Balswick discuss this, and much research does, and yet most Christian and secular circles just treat it as if this is supposed to fill the hole (or God is the only other element at play). Our culture doesn't actually explore marriage, but rather just accepts it, and through this we open the doors to a lot of issues that I believe make marriages much less healthy. We are destroyed from lack of knowledge. As my friend Maggie said, "some people marry young simply because they don't know what else to do and they don't wanna be alone."
Love lasts: "If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now." I'm not idealistic enough to think that there's this magical connection that makes it impossible to marry the wrong person; we have freedom to make our own decisions. However, I do think that both as a Christian, God has plans (like we say he does with nearly everything else), and also exactly as Elizabeth says, if someone really loves you it lasts.
Other's experiences: I can relate to hearing things like "my mom and dad got married young and X, Y and Z." The thinking that "it worked before so its a good idea" is a terrible line of reasoning, and yet I hear people use it all the time. (The Israelites use this same reasoning in Jeremiah 44 to justify worshiping false gods.) I don't feel like I should even have to elaborate on how bad this logic is. You can probably come up with a bunch of your own examples in your head.
Additionally
Commitment: I hear people say all the time that marriage is about commitment. If that were true, why wouldn't we just use the words interchangeably? Commitment is a huge part of marriage, assuredly, but it is not the whole of marriage. Communication, honesty, intimacy, sexuality, and many other elements go into what makes marriage. I think two committed people can work through issues together, but I don't think that it means every relationship where you can do that is wise.
The right person: I think the most important element in a marriage is the maturity of the two people ("maturity" being a large blanket term I use that covers commitment). However, I think the second most important element is who you choose to marry, and rather than just looking at age, I agree with my friend Rob that "you should probably base that around when you meet the right person." I think the real challenge, then, in figuring out how we determine who the "right person" is, and I'd direct you to not only ask some married couples, but ask people who have spent their lives studying and counseling marriages. (Check out Les & Leslie Parrot, Cloud & Townsend, and Neil Clark Warren.)
Wisdom vs mistakes: There is a difference between saying something is unwise and saying it is a mistake. There may be very good reason to say that young marriage is unwise or should at least be approached with strong caution (the divorce rate being one of those reasons). However, as my friend Collin says, "Assuming that all people married and younger than 23 are making grave life mistakes is an all-ism fallacy." I think the article could be construed both ways.
"No one is perfect": I hear this statement all the time and it bugs the heck out of me because of its misuse. Yes, no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't apply wisdom and grow some before we get married. No one will drive perfectly, but we still learn the rules of the road and do our best. We still have a standard of "that person is abusive" in comparison to people who are healthier. So it isn't unreasonable to discuss the standards of what will make a marriage stronger or when a person is ready.
Opinions: This is one final response to an objection I hear much too often. People will say "you're single and don't know anything." However, people can have comprehension and understanding without direct experience. People also have experienced hurt, relationships, betrayal, life, and a lot of other elements in marriage that do give them some insight. Even more important though, is that some people will have a single marriage experience, and others will take that as enough for thorough insight. I'd say I trust the advice of experienced marriage counselors more than a few married couple's experiences, just like I'd trust the zookeeper's opinions about animals more than the person who just loves to look at elephants. Marriages are all different.
Conclusion
I think one of the biggest issues in all of this is the necessity of marriage. People spend a lot of time defending things like marrying young, and yet don't give very good reasons to marry young. To figure this out, we need to push past the cultural defaults of just assuming marriage is normal and we don't need to have any reasons (which means our only reasons are purely emotion) and actually explore the rationality behind it as much as we do the emotions of it. Yes, we can marry young without grave consequences, but should we?
In all of this, though, we need to remember too that everyone has different experiences, and calling Vanessa Elizabeth an idiot or a hypocrite does nothing to encourage her or anyone else who reads her article. It actually makes us look like the unreasonable ones, in my opinion. As my friend Ryan said, we need to be "reading with the intention of loving." I appreciate her honesty to write down what she thinks, and I think it does offer some very wise insights for critical thought that should challenge us.
This article on 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before 23 was not only fascinating and challenging in itself, but also brought up a lot of my own ideas I have never quite put together before, so I figured this was a great two-in-one. My points are both responses to her ideas and building on my own (and friends' responses I quote).
Here's a link to the article by Vanessa Elizabeth:
23 THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF GETTING ENGAGED BEFORE YOU’RE 23
Here's the best as I can summarize it: Men and women under 23 are getting married because it is hip, they want its pleasures, and they can't deal with life on their own. Instead, people should wait to get married and take time to develop their own identity by enjoying many pleasures and experiences of their lives so that they know themselves and don't miss out.
The Negative
Adventure: Her premise seems to be that once you are married, having adventures is impossible. You could argue that traveling is hindered somewhat, but it is still entirely possible. As my friend John put it, "I didn't realize that now that I am married I can't grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read or explore anymore! What a mistake!"
Identity: "I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life." That doesn't mean that no one else does. In fact, discovering yourself is very much enhanced by other people. Others often know us better than we know ourselves.
Age and maturity: While there is definitely validity in relating age/experience and wisdom/understanding, these things are not directly correlated. As my friend Amanda said, "Just because you're 10 years older doesn't mean you'll stick it out." If no one knows themselves enough to get married at 23, I doubt Elizabeth should even be writing marriage advice at that age.
Selfishness: My major problem with the article is the selfishness of it. Her 22nd point in the list blatantly says "Be selfish." The 11th says to "Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face." This is completely inconsiderate of the two other human beings who's lives would be torn apart by such an action. Even the consequences of such action are only described by the consequences of the person doing the cheating.
However: She has said multiple times on her Twitter and Facebook that the list was actually satirical. Still, after reviewing the article several times, she doesn't make this very clear.
Originally, I really liked the article. She makes some very good points I've said many times myself. I was only swayed to a more neutral position as people pointed out the selfishness that underlies the motives and reasoning.
The Positive
The Divorce Rate: "The divorce rate for young couples is more than twice the national average." This is a very serious statistic that needs to be considered. The article she links too has some very relevant stories. We should be deeply challenged by these stories and statistics, and ask ourselves why this is happening.
Want vs Need: There seems to be a cultural assumption that we need to get married. Most of the time I hear a person arguing for marriage, they are arguing against reasons not to, but most seem to act as if it is an obvious necessity. I think this hinders us greatly from asking us why we really should get married. Most of the reasons such as personal growth and emotional support can be done without marriage, so we really need to think about what makes marriage special or different (because I'd like to think it is more than just sex, personally).
Identity: While I agree with most people that you can definitely develop your identity in marriage, it is not unwise to have a strong understanding of who you are before getting married. Our identities play a role in our marriage to someone, and also have a part in who we choose to marry. While "we can learn who we are while married" isn't an untrue reasoning, that's a poor reason not to take the time to learn about yourself significantly before you get married.
Co-dependency: This is probably one of the biggest subjects for me. I've seen too many "safety blanket" relationships where people who don't know how to be single get married out of despair. Too many people "hide behind a significant other" and hope to fill holes that parents, compliments, and even God should have filled. Books like "The Family" by Balswick & Balswick discuss this, and much research does, and yet most Christian and secular circles just treat it as if this is supposed to fill the hole (or God is the only other element at play). Our culture doesn't actually explore marriage, but rather just accepts it, and through this we open the doors to a lot of issues that I believe make marriages much less healthy. We are destroyed from lack of knowledge. As my friend Maggie said, "some people marry young simply because they don't know what else to do and they don't wanna be alone."
Love lasts: "If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now." I'm not idealistic enough to think that there's this magical connection that makes it impossible to marry the wrong person; we have freedom to make our own decisions. However, I do think that both as a Christian, God has plans (like we say he does with nearly everything else), and also exactly as Elizabeth says, if someone really loves you it lasts.
Other's experiences: I can relate to hearing things like "my mom and dad got married young and X, Y and Z." The thinking that "it worked before so its a good idea" is a terrible line of reasoning, and yet I hear people use it all the time. (The Israelites use this same reasoning in Jeremiah 44 to justify worshiping false gods.) I don't feel like I should even have to elaborate on how bad this logic is. You can probably come up with a bunch of your own examples in your head.
Additionally
Commitment: I hear people say all the time that marriage is about commitment. If that were true, why wouldn't we just use the words interchangeably? Commitment is a huge part of marriage, assuredly, but it is not the whole of marriage. Communication, honesty, intimacy, sexuality, and many other elements go into what makes marriage. I think two committed people can work through issues together, but I don't think that it means every relationship where you can do that is wise.
The right person: I think the most important element in a marriage is the maturity of the two people ("maturity" being a large blanket term I use that covers commitment). However, I think the second most important element is who you choose to marry, and rather than just looking at age, I agree with my friend Rob that "you should probably base that around when you meet the right person." I think the real challenge, then, in figuring out how we determine who the "right person" is, and I'd direct you to not only ask some married couples, but ask people who have spent their lives studying and counseling marriages. (Check out Les & Leslie Parrot, Cloud & Townsend, and Neil Clark Warren.)
Wisdom vs mistakes: There is a difference between saying something is unwise and saying it is a mistake. There may be very good reason to say that young marriage is unwise or should at least be approached with strong caution (the divorce rate being one of those reasons). However, as my friend Collin says, "Assuming that all people married and younger than 23 are making grave life mistakes is an all-ism fallacy." I think the article could be construed both ways.
"No one is perfect": I hear this statement all the time and it bugs the heck out of me because of its misuse. Yes, no one is perfect, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't apply wisdom and grow some before we get married. No one will drive perfectly, but we still learn the rules of the road and do our best. We still have a standard of "that person is abusive" in comparison to people who are healthier. So it isn't unreasonable to discuss the standards of what will make a marriage stronger or when a person is ready.
Opinions: This is one final response to an objection I hear much too often. People will say "you're single and don't know anything." However, people can have comprehension and understanding without direct experience. People also have experienced hurt, relationships, betrayal, life, and a lot of other elements in marriage that do give them some insight. Even more important though, is that some people will have a single marriage experience, and others will take that as enough for thorough insight. I'd say I trust the advice of experienced marriage counselors more than a few married couple's experiences, just like I'd trust the zookeeper's opinions about animals more than the person who just loves to look at elephants. Marriages are all different.
Conclusion
I think one of the biggest issues in all of this is the necessity of marriage. People spend a lot of time defending things like marrying young, and yet don't give very good reasons to marry young. To figure this out, we need to push past the cultural defaults of just assuming marriage is normal and we don't need to have any reasons (which means our only reasons are purely emotion) and actually explore the rationality behind it as much as we do the emotions of it. Yes, we can marry young without grave consequences, but should we?
In all of this, though, we need to remember too that everyone has different experiences, and calling Vanessa Elizabeth an idiot or a hypocrite does nothing to encourage her or anyone else who reads her article. It actually makes us look like the unreasonable ones, in my opinion. As my friend Ryan said, we need to be "reading with the intention of loving." I appreciate her honesty to write down what she thinks, and I think it does offer some very wise insights for critical thought that should challenge us.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Consider - Disgruntled with Diversity
I wrote this as part of a paper, and I touched it up a bit and added to it because I've been wanting to write this stuff as a blog post anyways. I'd be happy to hear your thoughts (and I may, of course, have some responses).
This last year, I’ve been learning a lot about the dangers of extremes and the pendulum effect. I like to call it being reactionary (action based off of a negativity) versus being actionary (choosing to act based on it being right). I’ve started to realize that even our general human history over the last 2,000 years has reflected this in our philosophies. We went from pre-modernism, where we trusted authorities such as the church, to reacting with modernism where we trusted logic that we could distinguish and decipher ourselves, to reacting with post-modernism where truth became subjective entirely to what we feel or decide. I’ve started looking at much of what culture, philosophies, and even my own beliefs do in terms of this effect. I’ve realized how often we see something bad, wrong, or often just a perversion of a good thing, and we do the opposite of it as a solution, which often causes new problems, even going as far as contradicting the original purpose of the change.
In terms of diversity and discrimination, I think this has happened a lot. Racism and slavery in America is one of the best examples. We have had discrimination based on numbers (which is currently acknowledged almost as if it is the only kind) where white people kept black people as slaves, and then they were still segregated even after slavery was abolished. This is something terrible and wrong, but reactions have gone too far. The ways we have reacted have produced new forms of discrimination psychologically, where we have enabled culture to discriminate and oppress white people.
Not only do numbers discriminate, but financial power can too, where corrupt rich can use their money to oppress a poor majority. It really comes down to a mix of power and a heart that uses that power wrongly. The thing is, we have created social standards that oppress people, and these standards are often called “political correctness.” To discuss discrimination against whites or stereotypes of white people is considered “politically incorrect," and puts white people in positions they cannot escape because they feel ashamed for being white. Shame is another power that is held over the heads, and hurts people just like slavery and segregation. This is a psychological version of what so many fighting for social justice have wanted to fight against, and my opinion is that it is just as bad as any other version of discrimination. It doesn’t just apply to white people, but I’ve seen it applied to the rich, to men, and to many other social groups, and what’s even sadder is that we still have the original issues, such as racism against blacks, right alongside it.
I’ve begun referring to this issue as “pop diversity,” where people have seen the popular diversity issues and are reactionary. We see issues such as racism and sexism as popular and thus more and more people hop on the bandwagons to fight them. However, so many other groups such as introverts and physical touch people are discriminated against, but the subjects aren’t popular so many are fighting to have them even acknowledged.
I think having classes like my class Human Diversity here at Multnomah are an excellent idea. I think they are a great way to fight discrimination, and I’ve very much enjoyed the class. However, I feel like a lot of diversity movements in general are only half of what is necessary. We are teaching people blind passion without actually equipping them. Passion is important and powerful and really the only way we change the world for the better, but passion should be our fuel, not the decision maker.
It’s similar to if culture teaches our kids how important it is to drive cars, so they have the passion, and classes equip them with information on how to actually drive it, but no one teaches them about how to be safe, to obey safety rules of the road, and to be careful of other drivers. They’ll speed, drive recklessly, and cause more damage than driving cars does good! Movies like Five Minutes in Heaven illustrate how teens who were given passion without wisdom in Ireland were killing people and not even understanding the repercussions. They had focused so much on the discrimination that they had no way to realize they were doing the exact same things, until someone told them. Imagine if diversity classes came bundled with wisdom on how to not go too far and how to not contradict your own values.
I think we need more diversity classes, but I think each individual topic and the class as a whole needs to look at the risks of seeking diversity. In fact, the classes need to actually explore the philosophies behind diversity. Movements that don't consider their own weaknesses or potentials for extremism are some of the most dangerous forces in existence. Not only do we often enable the pendulum effect by not cautioning people when fighting discrimination, but we don’t spend enough time establishing why diversity is valuable so that we can build opinions on that foundation; at times, it can appear more of an assumption without clear reasons.
One additional area I’ve been challenged to think through is in regard to events like Black History Month and MLK day. I liked MLK day, but I didn’t like Black History Month very much, and it took me some time to figure out why. I think the problem is that there’s no balance between accepting and valuing a person's diversity, and being required to embrace them and be involved in their passions.
Black culture is an amazing thing, and I am glad people take time to celebrate it and keep history of it. However, what frustrates me is that many people shame white people for not celebrating it, even though those same people probably wouldn’t attend a “white history month” (I wouldn’t want to either). If I have a geek culture month, or a blonde culture month, I wont be offended if people outside of those interests don’t attend. I’m not petitioning for our government to celebrate those either, though I’d definitely attend a geek culture month (in fact, you could say these are what events like ComicCon are). I’m not going to attack anyone for not attending a nerd convention, even if nerd’s have brought about the amazing technology everyone uses.
Martin Luther King, Jr. day, on the other hand, I very much enjoy because we are celebrating MLK, and not just because of something subjective we relate to (such as body features or personal cultural preference), but because he stood for social justice, which we can all rally around. Luther both acted on social justice, which is worth celebrating, and he gave us ideas that apply to people everywhere. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Not only will I attend events like this, but I will be rather shocked when other people don’t seem interested in this topic or others like it.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Learn - Friendly Favoritism (Part 1)
It's been some time since I've written on my blog, but I figured this was the best place to put this passage and issue that's been on my heart. So much for homework, heh heh. Enjoy!
James 2:1-4
My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
This passage has really stirred me up recently, making me aware of an issue in myself and also in people around me. Our Christian culture today is really reactionary to the "American Dream" (prosperity and freedom), and so we really love to embrace many passages frowning on aspects related to the rich (I'm not addressing this issue here, though). It's easy to breeze right over this passage in James with the same attitude, acknowledging the wrong many of us in my college would probably not struggle too much with, without seeing the broader applications.
Scripture talks about being "poor in spirit" (Matt. 5:3), showing us that the poor/rich dichotomy has more implications than simply financial and material wealth. Really, any way we can be blessed and have something of value can be applied to this passage.
Specifically, I'd like to address the emotionally and relationally poor. There's many people around us, even students on my campus, that are hurting and without significant support from those around them. While we are students going into ministry here at Multnomah University, talking about loving those around us and being missional, it seems that often times we are really choosing to invest time in those who are emotionally and relationally rich, and thus can give us the emotional and relational richness we enjoy.
How often do we walk into a room, and choose to sit with those sitting alone, instead of our close friend group?
How often do we look around and see if those in our immediate surrounding are in need, and ask how they are doing with sincere care?
How often do we give of ourselves relationally and emotionally when we know we won't be poured back into, which is real sacrifice?
Do we genuinely love those around us, or are we just "nice" to them?
We've got a great event every semester called Day of Outreach here at college. I think it is an awesome opportunity to bless people in surrounding communities, and I'm not saying anything bad about it. However, how much does it really cost us personally to get a day off of classes to laugh and joke with our friends while working on a project such as painting or raking leaves? How much do we actually sacrifice to show this "love?"
Jesus says in Luke 16 that it is important that we are trustable in the small things, otherwise we will not be trusted with larger things. "[I]f you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?" (v. 11). If we can't even love when it costs us to the immediately surrounding students and church members, what will earn God's trust with even bigger situations like entire churches, youth groups, and the mission field?
While I do believe having friend groups and "cliques" is natural and even healthy, I think too often they become the sole social element outside of passing conversations and official business. I want to challenge you (and myself) to be aware of those around you, whether in your family, at church, or at your school, to be considering of what their needs might be, and to be willing to love when it costs you, when it might make you a little uncomfortable or it might be a bit draining. Once you're actively doing this, that's when it's wise to retreat to the emotionally and relationally uplifting friend group God has blessed you with to be filled back up again, and to retreat to prayer and time with God most of all.
And if you are one of those people who don't have a friend group, and there's a lot of us, we should hang out some time :)
To Be Continued in Part 2
James 2:1-4
My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in filthy old clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
This passage has really stirred me up recently, making me aware of an issue in myself and also in people around me. Our Christian culture today is really reactionary to the "American Dream" (prosperity and freedom), and so we really love to embrace many passages frowning on aspects related to the rich (I'm not addressing this issue here, though). It's easy to breeze right over this passage in James with the same attitude, acknowledging the wrong many of us in my college would probably not struggle too much with, without seeing the broader applications.
Scripture talks about being "poor in spirit" (Matt. 5:3), showing us that the poor/rich dichotomy has more implications than simply financial and material wealth. Really, any way we can be blessed and have something of value can be applied to this passage.
Specifically, I'd like to address the emotionally and relationally poor. There's many people around us, even students on my campus, that are hurting and without significant support from those around them. While we are students going into ministry here at Multnomah University, talking about loving those around us and being missional, it seems that often times we are really choosing to invest time in those who are emotionally and relationally rich, and thus can give us the emotional and relational richness we enjoy.
How often do we walk into a room, and choose to sit with those sitting alone, instead of our close friend group?
How often do we look around and see if those in our immediate surrounding are in need, and ask how they are doing with sincere care?
How often do we give of ourselves relationally and emotionally when we know we won't be poured back into, which is real sacrifice?
Do we genuinely love those around us, or are we just "nice" to them?
We've got a great event every semester called Day of Outreach here at college. I think it is an awesome opportunity to bless people in surrounding communities, and I'm not saying anything bad about it. However, how much does it really cost us personally to get a day off of classes to laugh and joke with our friends while working on a project such as painting or raking leaves? How much do we actually sacrifice to show this "love?"
Jesus says in Luke 16 that it is important that we are trustable in the small things, otherwise we will not be trusted with larger things. "[I]f you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?" (v. 11). If we can't even love when it costs us to the immediately surrounding students and church members, what will earn God's trust with even bigger situations like entire churches, youth groups, and the mission field?
While I do believe having friend groups and "cliques" is natural and even healthy, I think too often they become the sole social element outside of passing conversations and official business. I want to challenge you (and myself) to be aware of those around you, whether in your family, at church, or at your school, to be considering of what their needs might be, and to be willing to love when it costs you, when it might make you a little uncomfortable or it might be a bit draining. Once you're actively doing this, that's when it's wise to retreat to the emotionally and relationally uplifting friend group God has blessed you with to be filled back up again, and to retreat to prayer and time with God most of all.
And if you are one of those people who don't have a friend group, and there's a lot of us, we should hang out some time :)
To Be Continued in Part 2
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Learn - The Uplift: Happiness is a Gift
I've got a subject that has been on my mind a lot ever since I was fairly well depressed about two years ago. A lot of people talk about happiness, saying things like "happiness is a choice" and "I'm going to choose to be happy today." I'm here to express my view on happiness, and explain why I think my view is not only true, but extremely important to understand.
The best place to start would be with my depression. During my depression, I wrote a paper on the subject itself, and read a lot of depression related books. There was a large spectrum of views on the subject. Here are some of the notable ones at their most extremes. (Many people who believe these have less extreme versions. These are my summaries.)
The Pamper View: This is the view that says you have absolutely no control or responsibility over your depression. You need people to pat you on the back and remind you it isn't your fault. You'll need to get on some medications, either until it goes away, or for life.
The Choice View: This is the view that says you are in complete control of if you are depressed pr not. It is likely something you did or are doing that is causing the depression, and you need to simply stop doing whatever it is to get over the depression. Medication is an excuse to not make the decision.
The Christianese View: This is similar to the choice view, but says that the problem is that you are not trusting Jesus enough or reminding yourself of His promises and reality, and that the solution is to trust Jesus more and remind yourself of His truth and reality. (Often times people don't know where the depression comes from, but say this is the solution.)
Now let's apply these specifically to happiness (depression is a slightly different issue) because the views are close enough. Some people think when we are sad we need to be pampered, and we have no control over it. They whine a lot when they are sad. Others on the opposite end say happiness is a choice. They hide when they are sad no matter what in hopes they can be happy by focusing on it enough. One book I read on depression was titled Happiness is a Choice and specifically said that everyone who followed the process in the book with their whole heart had found success, and that the process had to do with affirming truths of Jesus. (How convenient to label those it doesn't work for as simply doing it wrong!)
The Pamper View: The problem with the Pamper view is that we DO see a choice. We see that decisions we make effect our happiness, and we (obviously) have control over those decisions. There is more than enough experience in everyday life that we have a level of control over our mood.
The Choice View: The problem with the choice view is that sadness is an indicator for us that something is wrong! Pushing things aside that make us sad is dangerous, because sadness doesn't require just "choosing" to be happy, it often requires resolution. (Plus, from a Christian view, this doesn't make sense because we wouldn't need Jesus to be happy. We would simply choose happiness and then be happy with life.)
The Christianese View: This is the harder one to tackle, because Christianese is based on scripture (but not always its teachings, just legalism of its wordings). I could tackle this view in many ways, like showing where people in scripture are sad or called to mourn, but I think the best response is John 35:11 when "Jesus wept." Why didn't he choose to be happy? Doesn't he know His own truths? Isn't he perfect? It sounds like happiness isn't something to just be so quickly turned to.
Now, after quickly touching on these views, I present my own view, which I feel is a compromise of the truths of them all, while avoiding the discrepancies.
The Gift View: This is the idea that happiness is not found in a choice, but from realities. Happiness is drawn out of things that are true: we got a bonus check, we are just feeling naturally good, we are in love, a friend graduated, Jesus loves us, and more. Happiness is a gift that certain things gives us. Sometimes there are times when we just are overwhelmed with negative feelings, and we don't have room or ability to draw happiness out of the things around us.
It's rather like being a sponge underwater. We have good and bad water all around us, and we can focus on absorbing the good water (happiness) or the bad (sadness). Sometimes we are so surrounded by bad water that it is reasonable to be absorbing some of it (or much of it). Wringing ourselves out over and over with self talk is not going to make the bad water go away.
More often than not, we do have things to draw happiness out of, so in that way, we do have a choice. There are people who reject the gift of happiness. Still, to simply slap a label on every sadness as an issue of choice, I believe, is foolish. Like I said in response to the "choice" view, sadness is often an indicator that something is wrong! It is a gift to be sad, because we know something is bad (whether it is the situation itself, or the way we feel about it). It causes us to stop and look at a situation, and determine what is making us sad about it.
So when people say "I'm going to choose to be happy today," it usually informs me they have something to be sad about, and let's me know they are going to make an effort to ignore it. This can be like driving a car around that's breaking down, and choosing to continue driving it around, instead of stopping somewhere and getting it fixed. Driving it without fixing it will make the car worse!
Now, in clarification, I need to point out that there ARE times when simply changing our thought patters is the solution to sadness. How do we tell the difference? My answer is to figure out what the cause is. (I say often, "If the opposite of _____ is not the cause, then _____ is not the solution.") Some people are simply in a habit of dwelling on the negative things in their life, and they really need to just practice dwelling on good things instead of always looking to the bad. With relationship pains, there is often nothing to do about the painful emotions, and all that needs to happen is a person needs to work on moving past it and focusing on the good things they have.
Whatever must be done, we DO need Jesus! It's just that many times, what should be done is begun with him, but needs to be followed by more. If you don't have Him, your plans with fail. But if you only sit around "trusting" Him but not acting... I'd go as far to say you don't understand Him much at all. (Read the book of James.)
In conclusion, I think we need to spend more time thinking about why we are sad or happy, and less time "deciding" to be happy. If your friend was hurting, you wouldn't want them to fake a smile and keep damaging themselves (hopefully you don't, at least I wouldn't). So don't lie to yourself and say that your friends would rather you just smile and choose to be happy. If they do want a fake smile, they aren't your friends at all. Jesus designed us to work this way. Listen to Him and you'll succeed!
(And yes... although I think it's hilarious, I hate when people use the quote "When I get sad, I stop being sad and get awesome instead" in a serious manner.)
That's it! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any thoughts (agreements, additions, or disagreements), I would love to hear them! I love talking about important life topics :)
Music
And for today's music sampler, two very different songs!
Joshua Radin - Sunny Days (Sesame Street Theme)
The best place to start would be with my depression. During my depression, I wrote a paper on the subject itself, and read a lot of depression related books. There was a large spectrum of views on the subject. Here are some of the notable ones at their most extremes. (Many people who believe these have less extreme versions. These are my summaries.)
The Pamper View: This is the view that says you have absolutely no control or responsibility over your depression. You need people to pat you on the back and remind you it isn't your fault. You'll need to get on some medications, either until it goes away, or for life.
The Choice View: This is the view that says you are in complete control of if you are depressed pr not. It is likely something you did or are doing that is causing the depression, and you need to simply stop doing whatever it is to get over the depression. Medication is an excuse to not make the decision.
The Christianese View: This is similar to the choice view, but says that the problem is that you are not trusting Jesus enough or reminding yourself of His promises and reality, and that the solution is to trust Jesus more and remind yourself of His truth and reality. (Often times people don't know where the depression comes from, but say this is the solution.)
Now let's apply these specifically to happiness (depression is a slightly different issue) because the views are close enough. Some people think when we are sad we need to be pampered, and we have no control over it. They whine a lot when they are sad. Others on the opposite end say happiness is a choice. They hide when they are sad no matter what in hopes they can be happy by focusing on it enough. One book I read on depression was titled Happiness is a Choice and specifically said that everyone who followed the process in the book with their whole heart had found success, and that the process had to do with affirming truths of Jesus. (How convenient to label those it doesn't work for as simply doing it wrong!)
The Pamper View: The problem with the Pamper view is that we DO see a choice. We see that decisions we make effect our happiness, and we (obviously) have control over those decisions. There is more than enough experience in everyday life that we have a level of control over our mood.
The Choice View: The problem with the choice view is that sadness is an indicator for us that something is wrong! Pushing things aside that make us sad is dangerous, because sadness doesn't require just "choosing" to be happy, it often requires resolution. (Plus, from a Christian view, this doesn't make sense because we wouldn't need Jesus to be happy. We would simply choose happiness and then be happy with life.)
The Christianese View: This is the harder one to tackle, because Christianese is based on scripture (but not always its teachings, just legalism of its wordings). I could tackle this view in many ways, like showing where people in scripture are sad or called to mourn, but I think the best response is John 35:11 when "Jesus wept." Why didn't he choose to be happy? Doesn't he know His own truths? Isn't he perfect? It sounds like happiness isn't something to just be so quickly turned to.
Now, after quickly touching on these views, I present my own view, which I feel is a compromise of the truths of them all, while avoiding the discrepancies.
The Gift View: This is the idea that happiness is not found in a choice, but from realities. Happiness is drawn out of things that are true: we got a bonus check, we are just feeling naturally good, we are in love, a friend graduated, Jesus loves us, and more. Happiness is a gift that certain things gives us. Sometimes there are times when we just are overwhelmed with negative feelings, and we don't have room or ability to draw happiness out of the things around us.
It's rather like being a sponge underwater. We have good and bad water all around us, and we can focus on absorbing the good water (happiness) or the bad (sadness). Sometimes we are so surrounded by bad water that it is reasonable to be absorbing some of it (or much of it). Wringing ourselves out over and over with self talk is not going to make the bad water go away.
More often than not, we do have things to draw happiness out of, so in that way, we do have a choice. There are people who reject the gift of happiness. Still, to simply slap a label on every sadness as an issue of choice, I believe, is foolish. Like I said in response to the "choice" view, sadness is often an indicator that something is wrong! It is a gift to be sad, because we know something is bad (whether it is the situation itself, or the way we feel about it). It causes us to stop and look at a situation, and determine what is making us sad about it.
So when people say "I'm going to choose to be happy today," it usually informs me they have something to be sad about, and let's me know they are going to make an effort to ignore it. This can be like driving a car around that's breaking down, and choosing to continue driving it around, instead of stopping somewhere and getting it fixed. Driving it without fixing it will make the car worse!
Now, in clarification, I need to point out that there ARE times when simply changing our thought patters is the solution to sadness. How do we tell the difference? My answer is to figure out what the cause is. (I say often, "If the opposite of _____ is not the cause, then _____ is not the solution.") Some people are simply in a habit of dwelling on the negative things in their life, and they really need to just practice dwelling on good things instead of always looking to the bad. With relationship pains, there is often nothing to do about the painful emotions, and all that needs to happen is a person needs to work on moving past it and focusing on the good things they have.
Whatever must be done, we DO need Jesus! It's just that many times, what should be done is begun with him, but needs to be followed by more. If you don't have Him, your plans with fail. But if you only sit around "trusting" Him but not acting... I'd go as far to say you don't understand Him much at all. (Read the book of James.)
In conclusion, I think we need to spend more time thinking about why we are sad or happy, and less time "deciding" to be happy. If your friend was hurting, you wouldn't want them to fake a smile and keep damaging themselves (hopefully you don't, at least I wouldn't). So don't lie to yourself and say that your friends would rather you just smile and choose to be happy. If they do want a fake smile, they aren't your friends at all. Jesus designed us to work this way. Listen to Him and you'll succeed!
(And yes... although I think it's hilarious, I hate when people use the quote "When I get sad, I stop being sad and get awesome instead" in a serious manner.)
That's it! I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any thoughts (agreements, additions, or disagreements), I would love to hear them! I love talking about important life topics :)
Music
And for today's music sampler, two very different songs!
Joshua Radin - Sunny Days (Sesame Street Theme)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Tell - How to Care at the Square
Woah! It's been a while since I blogged! I decided to post this little paper I wrote for my Experiential Learning class on here because it's a typical blog post already and has a nice little story and lesson. Hope you enjoy it!
This semester, I went with a group of friends from here at Multnomah to Pioneer Square in downtown Portland to evangelize. Our initial idea was open air preaching, and instead of preaching at people nearby, we were going to spread out as a group being preached to but that was open for people to walk up and listen.
When we arrived at the square, we found a band was playing there, drowning out most anything in the area. As an alternative, we decided to split in three groups of three and walk around Pioneer Square while praying.
After a couple of laps, myself and the two with me noticed a group of asian youth students across the street singing worship songs. We crossed the street and sang along as we walked up to the group. They had delighted expressions and held up their lyrics for us to read along. We found out after singing multiple songs that the leader of the group was a Multnomah alumni.
As we sang, I watched the people walk by and their response. With open preaching (especially preaching at people), I see a lot of people become defensive, frustrated, and unresponsive. However, the responses I saw from a group of people singing happily was smiles and nods. Even people who may have been defensive seemed forcibly softened by the melodies. Additionally, many people who were probably believers were waving and lip syncing as they walked on our side and the opposite side of the street.
After some more songs, we moved on and rode the max to another part of town. We encountered a woman who was preaching loudly at people, but with most people speeding up as we walked by. She seemed a bit too frustrated. I was kind of turned off by it, thinking there were better ways to go about what she was doing.
However, the organizer of our group decided we’d scatter around her and listen. Quickly, her demeanor changed, and she carried a more loving and peaceful attitude and message. Others stopped by and stood with us as we listened.It kind of surprised me, because this was a great response... and one I wouldn't have done myself.
I realized three things through all this. One was the power of music. Unlike just words, melodies have a way of forcing gently ideas and softening our hearts. I also saw that instead of just seeking goals like our group had, we had a valuable role in supporting other people’s goals. Lastly, I learned a lot about the general concept of being adaptable. Instead of just trying to force our plans through, or just plain giving up, we took on other roles of value and were still met with quality success.
When we arrived at the square, we found a band was playing there, drowning out most anything in the area. As an alternative, we decided to split in three groups of three and walk around Pioneer Square while praying.
After a couple of laps, myself and the two with me noticed a group of asian youth students across the street singing worship songs. We crossed the street and sang along as we walked up to the group. They had delighted expressions and held up their lyrics for us to read along. We found out after singing multiple songs that the leader of the group was a Multnomah alumni.
As we sang, I watched the people walk by and their response. With open preaching (especially preaching at people), I see a lot of people become defensive, frustrated, and unresponsive. However, the responses I saw from a group of people singing happily was smiles and nods. Even people who may have been defensive seemed forcibly softened by the melodies. Additionally, many people who were probably believers were waving and lip syncing as they walked on our side and the opposite side of the street.
After some more songs, we moved on and rode the max to another part of town. We encountered a woman who was preaching loudly at people, but with most people speeding up as we walked by. She seemed a bit too frustrated. I was kind of turned off by it, thinking there were better ways to go about what she was doing.
However, the organizer of our group decided we’d scatter around her and listen. Quickly, her demeanor changed, and she carried a more loving and peaceful attitude and message. Others stopped by and stood with us as we listened.It kind of surprised me, because this was a great response... and one I wouldn't have done myself.
I realized three things through all this. One was the power of music. Unlike just words, melodies have a way of forcing gently ideas and softening our hearts. I also saw that instead of just seeking goals like our group had, we had a valuable role in supporting other people’s goals. Lastly, I learned a lot about the general concept of being adaptable. Instead of just trying to force our plans through, or just plain giving up, we took on other roles of value and were still met with quality success.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Learn - Should We Relent to be Content?
So, it has been a while, and I really want to write about the AMAZING things God has taught me over my Lent. However, that's gonna take some time, and I have a quicker thought right now that I hope will be good to think out and share with you.
To start off, I often learn the contrasts of society. Practically everything out there has an opinion on it already. I really actually suck at forming my own from scratch. Though you may not see it, my mind usually takes opinions and compares them and looks for consistency and inconsistency. The result? Most of the lessons I learn and want to teach are contrasts to society, Christianese, and other things.
And this brings us to today's topic: Contentment.
What is contentment? It's a sense of being okay with the way things are. It is feeling satisfied about a situation. It is un-ill-will towards the status quo. It is a garden of small chicldren with... um... well... you get the idea.
We talk about contentment all the time, especially as Christians. We talk about how important it is. We pray for it. The Bible says it is valuable too!
"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6
There are tons of quotes and proverbs about it.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keoniq
"From labour health, from health contentment spring; contentment opes the source of every joy." James Beattie
So it is good right? Taking what situation we are in, what we have, and what we are called to, and being happy with them? Being satisfied?
Often, yes. But not always.
I have a friend (or had, depending on how you look at it) who keeps seeking contentment, praying for it. Yet they really aren't finding themselves content. They can't figure out why, though it is obvious to those around them. The problem is: They are not supposed to be content.
If you are lazy and dishonest, should you be content? If someone is hurting others, should you be content? If you are unsaved and an unbeliever, should you be content?
I hope it is an obvious NO! Though contentment is valuable for certain things, it is not for others. We need to not obsess over contentment as if it were an ultimate ideal!
Contentment can be a partner of happiness, but it is also the enemy of change. Sometimes things don't need or can't be changed, and that's where it comes in. However, when things need changed or a point needs made, we must be discontent and we may need to express it!
Need further proof? How about Jesus. The ultimate in discontentment. He died on the cross because He didn't like the way things were. He was unhappy with our sin and heavenly state, and so He did something about it. He loved us so much, he saw a way that was better than currently was, and changed it.
- Healthy discontentment comes out of Love.
What if we are content with the way we are? Paul was discontent with the state of the church, and he wrote them letters in order to produce change. What if he was content with their status? What if we don't seek after wisdom from God like it says in James 1? What if we are content with our sin?
- Healthy contentment is not an enemy of change.
We should be content with things that are healthy as-is. When contentment gets in the way of things, it is unhealthy. God's plans are always right, and thus should always be contented with. Still, a lot of times we think we know His plan when we don't, and a major problem is that we don't keep open to the possibility that we may need to be discontent.
- Healthy contentment doesn't get in the way of considering needed discontentment and our error.
Discontentment is a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is our attitude, and can be when we often need prayerful help for peace. Other times it is our action, or another's actions. Discontentment helps remind us to check ourselves, and this is why we shouldn't stop considering things when we are content with them.
- Healthy contentment is achieved after finding what is wrong with a situation through our discontentment.
The best way I can sum it up is this, which I say often when people bring up contentment:
"Be content at what you can't change, and discontent with what you can."
We can't change the past. We can't change what is right and wrong. We can't change God's plans (though we can effect how they are worked out). We CAN change our attitudes. We CAN change our actions. We CAN change our open-mindedness.
Contentment is wonderful. It's a blessing that we can often find in the Lord for dealing with stressful situations. Even when we act, we often need contentment in the fact that we have to change things. However, we can not treat it as a pure and ultimate ideal. It can be unhealthy and destructive if used wrongly. The only thing that should be taken as far as possible is love.
...sadly, my friend has put me in a place where I can not longer input into their life. This is part of the problem that is hurting them, as they have done this to multiple people. Yet they deny that this is the wrong decision, but are still are unsuccessfully grasping for contentment. I only wish they were open enough to see what is happening. I miss them.
To start off, I often learn the contrasts of society. Practically everything out there has an opinion on it already. I really actually suck at forming my own from scratch. Though you may not see it, my mind usually takes opinions and compares them and looks for consistency and inconsistency. The result? Most of the lessons I learn and want to teach are contrasts to society, Christianese, and other things.
And this brings us to today's topic: Contentment.
What is contentment? It's a sense of being okay with the way things are. It is feeling satisfied about a situation. It is un-ill-will towards the status quo. It is a garden of small chicldren with... um... well... you get the idea.
We talk about contentment all the time, especially as Christians. We talk about how important it is. We pray for it. The Bible says it is valuable too!
"But godliness with contentment is great gain." 1 Timothy 6:6
There are tons of quotes and proverbs about it.
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” Frederick Keoniq
"From labour health, from health contentment spring; contentment opes the source of every joy." James Beattie
So it is good right? Taking what situation we are in, what we have, and what we are called to, and being happy with them? Being satisfied?
Often, yes. But not always.
I have a friend (or had, depending on how you look at it) who keeps seeking contentment, praying for it. Yet they really aren't finding themselves content. They can't figure out why, though it is obvious to those around them. The problem is: They are not supposed to be content.
If you are lazy and dishonest, should you be content? If someone is hurting others, should you be content? If you are unsaved and an unbeliever, should you be content?
I hope it is an obvious NO! Though contentment is valuable for certain things, it is not for others. We need to not obsess over contentment as if it were an ultimate ideal!
Contentment can be a partner of happiness, but it is also the enemy of change. Sometimes things don't need or can't be changed, and that's where it comes in. However, when things need changed or a point needs made, we must be discontent and we may need to express it!
Need further proof? How about Jesus. The ultimate in discontentment. He died on the cross because He didn't like the way things were. He was unhappy with our sin and heavenly state, and so He did something about it. He loved us so much, he saw a way that was better than currently was, and changed it.
- Healthy discontentment comes out of Love.
What if we are content with the way we are? Paul was discontent with the state of the church, and he wrote them letters in order to produce change. What if he was content with their status? What if we don't seek after wisdom from God like it says in James 1? What if we are content with our sin?
- Healthy contentment is not an enemy of change.
We should be content with things that are healthy as-is. When contentment gets in the way of things, it is unhealthy. God's plans are always right, and thus should always be contented with. Still, a lot of times we think we know His plan when we don't, and a major problem is that we don't keep open to the possibility that we may need to be discontent.
- Healthy contentment doesn't get in the way of considering needed discontentment and our error.
Discontentment is a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it is our attitude, and can be when we often need prayerful help for peace. Other times it is our action, or another's actions. Discontentment helps remind us to check ourselves, and this is why we shouldn't stop considering things when we are content with them.
- Healthy contentment is achieved after finding what is wrong with a situation through our discontentment.
The best way I can sum it up is this, which I say often when people bring up contentment:
"Be content at what you can't change, and discontent with what you can."
We can't change the past. We can't change what is right and wrong. We can't change God's plans (though we can effect how they are worked out). We CAN change our attitudes. We CAN change our actions. We CAN change our open-mindedness.
Contentment is wonderful. It's a blessing that we can often find in the Lord for dealing with stressful situations. Even when we act, we often need contentment in the fact that we have to change things. However, we can not treat it as a pure and ultimate ideal. It can be unhealthy and destructive if used wrongly. The only thing that should be taken as far as possible is love.
...sadly, my friend has put me in a place where I can not longer input into their life. This is part of the problem that is hurting them, as they have done this to multiple people. Yet they deny that this is the wrong decision, but are still are unsuccessfully grasping for contentment. I only wish they were open enough to see what is happening. I miss them.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Learn - The Gain of Pain
Some people do what they want, inconsiderate of God.
Some people ask God to help them do what they want.
Some ask what God wants, but still may not be willing.
Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart.
I asked God over and over for some help, and He didn't answer and didn't answer. I hurt... I was in so much pain... and yet heard nothing. But near my breaking point, God finally told me the answer. It was something I would have done, too... Why did He wait so long to tell me?
The problem was that... I wouldn't have taken it to heart. The answer... would not have changed my character. If I had heard it before, I would have been glad, agreed, and practiced it a bit, but would have eventually forgotten. It would have been some ink stamping a simple answer on top of my heart.
However, the pain... it softened my heart. It made it go from a rock to play dough. And when God finally stamped down the answer... It sunk to my core. I wont forget. I don't just know, I understand. This hasn't changed my knowledge, it has changed who I am.
It's difficult to deal with this fact... that no matter what, the solution may be just sitting in pain. I thought that, as long as I was willing to act upon an answer, there would be no reason for God not to tell me what He wanted. Yet God wants not a changed act, he wants a changed heart.
Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart, ready for the pain it will take to hear the answer.
Some people ask God to help them do what they want.
Some ask what God wants, but still may not be willing.
Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart.
I asked God over and over for some help, and He didn't answer and didn't answer. I hurt... I was in so much pain... and yet heard nothing. But near my breaking point, God finally told me the answer. It was something I would have done, too... Why did He wait so long to tell me?
The problem was that... I wouldn't have taken it to heart. The answer... would not have changed my character. If I had heard it before, I would have been glad, agreed, and practiced it a bit, but would have eventually forgotten. It would have been some ink stamping a simple answer on top of my heart.
However, the pain... it softened my heart. It made it go from a rock to play dough. And when God finally stamped down the answer... It sunk to my core. I wont forget. I don't just know, I understand. This hasn't changed my knowledge, it has changed who I am.
It's difficult to deal with this fact... that no matter what, the solution may be just sitting in pain. I thought that, as long as I was willing to act upon an answer, there would be no reason for God not to tell me what He wanted. Yet God wants not a changed act, he wants a changed heart.
Some people ask God with a willing and sincere heart, ready for the pain it will take to hear the answer.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Learn - A Higher Desire
Here's my first "life lesson" related blog post. This is something that God taught me last year, and I've been refining it more and more since then. It's a very important aspect to a lot of other concepts I believe, and so it's a good place to start!
We all have desires. It's difficult to distinguish what we are supposed to do with them, but we know they are there. The Bible talks about nature, flesh, sin, temptation, denial of self, and a variety of other subjects that can be hard to put our finger on and work with. Yet without desire, we'd be stale and actionless. All action is a combination of ability and desire. If either ability or desire is gone, then nothing happens.
Ability + Desire = Action
Galatians 5:17 discusses both the negative desires of the flesh, and the positive desires of the Spirit, so there's obviously both good an bad possibilities. There are multiple verses in Proverbs (37:4, 13:19, 11:23, 10:24) speaking not only positively about desire, but saying that God will fulfill it (under conditions) and that "the desire of the righteous ends only in good."
Now, where does this desire come from? Do we just spontaneously generate desires when we are born? They just form out of nowhere? Some secular sources say society creates them... but of course, society is made up of people, and they have to have a source for their desires ;) I think our desires come from God. Where else?
Now wait just a minute (those of you jumping to what could be a logical conclusion). "If it comes from God, how come I can not have what I desire all the time?" You have to factor in our ability to pervert what God has given us. Our free will gives us the power (that we regularly use) to abuse the wonderful creation and selves God gave us. This creates a simple philosophy of desire; there are two kinds of desire:
1. Good, pure, wholesome desire that God plans to fulfill.
2. Perverted version of our healthy desires, usually resulting from impatience and selfishness.
I believe that every desire we have, God plans to fill somehow. He wants to give us what we want! (There's biblical evidence in Proverbs shown above and elsewhere for this.) But what sin does is allows us to try and fulfill these desires in our own way and our own time. Did we ever do something that we didn't desire? We soon generate new desires from these good desires.
Pre-marital sex is an abuse of a gift God wanted us to have. Stealing is giving into our desire to possess material (which is normal and natural) in a way that doesn't reflect God's character. When we lie, it's an abuse of our freedom to express ourselves (thus perverting truth), usually as a way to gain something we were not yet meant to have. Some desires will not be fulfilled until heaven!
Now, what this means is that we do need to relinquish our will to God. We don't destroy our desires. We don't abandon ourselves. We live who we are, who God created us to be, in His way and His timing. Looking at what we want, what we desire, what we are passionate about, is a key to learning what God has planned for us! We just need to use prayer, counsel, and scripture in this search so that we don't run the risk of misidentifying a desire as from God.
This also emphasizes the importance of patience! How many sins are based on the fact that we just wont wait? God's got a plan to leave us fulfilled, if we'll be patient, seek Him, and let him do it!
From here, I'd usually start talking about how I think, in our pursuit of "denial of self", we miss out on what I believe to be the biblical idea of Christian Humanism. But we'll save that for some other time ;)
(I have not read the book Journey of Desire by John Eldridge, but it is about this same idea. I own it and do want to read it soon, haha.)
Music
I want to share the music I'm listening to while I write these. I love music, I love its emotion, I love the message that the melodies convey, and I love sharing this part of myself with my friends.
Beirut is awesome! My friend David was playing it in the Cafe, and I had to find out who it was. I'll spare you a ton of links, but here are some of my favorites! LISTEN TO THEM!!!
Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)
Postcards from Italy
The Concubine
We all have desires. It's difficult to distinguish what we are supposed to do with them, but we know they are there. The Bible talks about nature, flesh, sin, temptation, denial of self, and a variety of other subjects that can be hard to put our finger on and work with. Yet without desire, we'd be stale and actionless. All action is a combination of ability and desire. If either ability or desire is gone, then nothing happens.
Ability + Desire = Action
Galatians 5:17 discusses both the negative desires of the flesh, and the positive desires of the Spirit, so there's obviously both good an bad possibilities. There are multiple verses in Proverbs (37:4, 13:19, 11:23, 10:24) speaking not only positively about desire, but saying that God will fulfill it (under conditions) and that "the desire of the righteous ends only in good."
Now, where does this desire come from? Do we just spontaneously generate desires when we are born? They just form out of nowhere? Some secular sources say society creates them... but of course, society is made up of people, and they have to have a source for their desires ;) I think our desires come from God. Where else?
Now wait just a minute (those of you jumping to what could be a logical conclusion). "If it comes from God, how come I can not have what I desire all the time?" You have to factor in our ability to pervert what God has given us. Our free will gives us the power (that we regularly use) to abuse the wonderful creation and selves God gave us. This creates a simple philosophy of desire; there are two kinds of desire:
1. Good, pure, wholesome desire that God plans to fulfill.
2. Perverted version of our healthy desires, usually resulting from impatience and selfishness.
I believe that every desire we have, God plans to fill somehow. He wants to give us what we want! (There's biblical evidence in Proverbs shown above and elsewhere for this.) But what sin does is allows us to try and fulfill these desires in our own way and our own time. Did we ever do something that we didn't desire? We soon generate new desires from these good desires.
Pre-marital sex is an abuse of a gift God wanted us to have. Stealing is giving into our desire to possess material (which is normal and natural) in a way that doesn't reflect God's character. When we lie, it's an abuse of our freedom to express ourselves (thus perverting truth), usually as a way to gain something we were not yet meant to have. Some desires will not be fulfilled until heaven!
Now, what this means is that we do need to relinquish our will to God. We don't destroy our desires. We don't abandon ourselves. We live who we are, who God created us to be, in His way and His timing. Looking at what we want, what we desire, what we are passionate about, is a key to learning what God has planned for us! We just need to use prayer, counsel, and scripture in this search so that we don't run the risk of misidentifying a desire as from God.
This also emphasizes the importance of patience! How many sins are based on the fact that we just wont wait? God's got a plan to leave us fulfilled, if we'll be patient, seek Him, and let him do it!
From here, I'd usually start talking about how I think, in our pursuit of "denial of self", we miss out on what I believe to be the biblical idea of Christian Humanism. But we'll save that for some other time ;)
(I have not read the book Journey of Desire by John Eldridge, but it is about this same idea. I own it and do want to read it soon, haha.)
Music
I want to share the music I'm listening to while I write these. I love music, I love its emotion, I love the message that the melodies convey, and I love sharing this part of myself with my friends.
Beirut is awesome! My friend David was playing it in the Cafe, and I had to find out who it was. I'll spare you a ton of links, but here are some of my favorites! LISTEN TO THEM!!!
Mount Wroclai (Idle Days)
Postcards from Italy
The Concubine
My Family's Role in the World Revolution
See - As I Stand Worshiping
I've decided to start off with something I "saw" during an all-worship chapel here at school. I don't like calling it a "vision" or anything, but I do think that this image that I more "felt" than saw is something God showed me. I doubt it will sound near as good written as opposed to when I speak it, but I'm considering presenting this (and a few others like it) for the Sankofa event here at school.
As I write this here, it's written fresh out of my mind from my memory of it. Envision it with me.
As I Stand Worshiping
As I stand worshiping, arms raised to Christ, I see my body there in armor. I'm wearing an armor with elaborate designs on it. Yet this armor, obviously of previous glory, is dirty and damaged. It's color is faded, and it's full of deep gashes. This armor has protected me.
As I stand worshiping, in the armor, Jesus comes along. He looks at the armor and reaches out to it, feeling each damaged area. In His eyes is a spark of creativity; I can see in them that He sees the value, the good work, and the potential in the armor. He goes the straps of my breastplate, gently unbinding them and releasing each one. He carefully removes each piece of armor, setting them aside.
As I stand worshiping, Jesus removing the armor, I see the wounds. This armor, beyond me and a gift from Him, was placed on me to protect me. It served its purpose well, but it doesn't protect everything. Some of the blows to the armor had pierced inside. My body has wounds from where the attacks had gone through.
As I stand worshiping, wounded to the core, Jesus begins to hug me. He wraps His arms around me, with an embrace both gentle yet strong; the grasp you can not escape, the grasp you would never want to escape. As He holds me, the wounds slowly heal.
As I stand worshiping, wounds healed by Jesus, I see what has happened. The wounds are healed; scars remain. I wont forget what I learned from those wounds, and I'll be stronger from them. Yet I am healed. I am free from the bondage of the mistakes and suffering in my life.
As I stand worshiping, enjoying my relief, Jesus prepares me. He brings something to me, new armor. This is like the armor He removed. It is covered in glorious images and patterns. It glistens in the light. It was made just for me. He gently places each piece against my body, and pulls the straps around, tightening them to a snug fit.
As I stand worshiping, prepared by Jesus, I see myself ready. I know I am strong from the battles I have fought before. I know I can rely on Jesus. I know he has put things in place to protect me. I know he will restore me again. I am ready.
As I stand worshiping, ready, Jesus sends me out. Now that I am renewed, Jesus send me back out into the world. I lower my arms, the image fades... the armor is figurative... but the work is real. I am refreshed.
Oh wow. I just started writing, and the pattern formed. The formula, switching between myself and Jesus, formed. He acts>I see>I know. I'm so glad I wrote this out! I hope you enjoyed reading it!
As I write this here, it's written fresh out of my mind from my memory of it. Envision it with me.
As I Stand Worshiping
As I stand worshiping, arms raised to Christ, I see my body there in armor. I'm wearing an armor with elaborate designs on it. Yet this armor, obviously of previous glory, is dirty and damaged. It's color is faded, and it's full of deep gashes. This armor has protected me.
As I stand worshiping, in the armor, Jesus comes along. He looks at the armor and reaches out to it, feeling each damaged area. In His eyes is a spark of creativity; I can see in them that He sees the value, the good work, and the potential in the armor. He goes the straps of my breastplate, gently unbinding them and releasing each one. He carefully removes each piece of armor, setting them aside.
As I stand worshiping, Jesus removing the armor, I see the wounds. This armor, beyond me and a gift from Him, was placed on me to protect me. It served its purpose well, but it doesn't protect everything. Some of the blows to the armor had pierced inside. My body has wounds from where the attacks had gone through.
As I stand worshiping, wounded to the core, Jesus begins to hug me. He wraps His arms around me, with an embrace both gentle yet strong; the grasp you can not escape, the grasp you would never want to escape. As He holds me, the wounds slowly heal.
As I stand worshiping, wounds healed by Jesus, I see what has happened. The wounds are healed; scars remain. I wont forget what I learned from those wounds, and I'll be stronger from them. Yet I am healed. I am free from the bondage of the mistakes and suffering in my life.
As I stand worshiping, enjoying my relief, Jesus prepares me. He brings something to me, new armor. This is like the armor He removed. It is covered in glorious images and patterns. It glistens in the light. It was made just for me. He gently places each piece against my body, and pulls the straps around, tightening them to a snug fit.
As I stand worshiping, prepared by Jesus, I see myself ready. I know I am strong from the battles I have fought before. I know I can rely on Jesus. I know he has put things in place to protect me. I know he will restore me again. I am ready.
As I stand worshiping, ready, Jesus sends me out. Now that I am renewed, Jesus send me back out into the world. I lower my arms, the image fades... the armor is figurative... but the work is real. I am refreshed.
Oh wow. I just started writing, and the pattern formed. The formula, switching between myself and Jesus, formed. He acts>I see>I know. I'm so glad I wrote this out! I hope you enjoyed reading it!
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